From the Corner Office to the Corner Cubicle

I knew the change was coming.
I had agreed that it made good business sense.
But the day that Human Resources came in and asked how quickly I could vacate my office so they could get someone else moved in, it felt like my lungs had been filled with concrete - externally I think I was mostly composed, but inside I was on the verge of panic.

It took several trips to carry my belongings out of my nice big comfortable office, down the stairs, out the front door, and into the cubicle farm next door, where I had my pick of the available 3' x 5' cubes!

What should have taken 10 minutes took the better part of an hour. Mostly because it took time to assure each person I passed in the hallway that this move to the cube was not a demotion. Of course I didn't say it in those words, but I literally felt like I couldn't stop explaining the reason for the move; it was like Tourette's syndrome, minus the cussing and twitching - okay, maybe it wasn't like Tourette's, but it was impulsive.

A melancholy fog rolled in while I settled in at my new desk. I remember saying to someone that God must be trying to teach me something about pride. It seemed that without realizing it I had let my office (with it's big desk, space for small meetings, four walls, ceiling, and door) become a significant part of my identity. There was pride in my heart about what I felt like that office said about my status and importance within the company and as a man. Moving into the cube was like opening a trap door beneath me sending my perception of my value into a free fall.

Thankfully God didn't make me wait too long before He started impressing some thoughts on my heart. My initial response had been to feel that I was less valuable because of being moved into the cube farm. But God wasn't trying to just teach me something about pride by "knocking me down a few rungs" - he had something deeper in mind, something bigger!

We so often accept false dichotomies; we can only see two answers to a question and forget that God works on an entirely different plane. We look at ourselves (usually in comparison to someone else), make an assessment of our relative worth, and feel pride or self-hatred. But these are just opposite sides of the same coin; both pride and self-hatred base our value on our own possessions, performance, or abilities. God does want to eradicate pride from our lives, but His answer is not to have us trade in pride for self-hatred. God's answer is to free us from this faulty thinking entirely and to call us to look beyond ourselves to find our worth in relation to Him and who he says we are.

Who am I in Christ according to God?
- I am a child of Father God.
- I am a saint, called by God and set apart for His purposes.
- I am an ambassador of the King of the universe.
- I am a man who has been forgiven and accepted.
- I am His workmanship (handiwork) created in Christ Jesus for good works which He has prepared in advance that we should walk in them.

- I am not an unimportant man in a cubicle.
- I am also not, and never was, an important man in an office.
- I am neither of those men.
- By God's grace I am someone entirely different; where I sit does not determine my value and identity.

Note: Neil T Anderson has a devotional book called "Who I am in Christ" that explores this theme in much more detail.

If Jesus Gave Man Cards...

"You just lost your Man card!"

A simple phrase that can be inserted anytime a man doesn't take enough bacon at breakfast, misses watching/playing a ball game to take care of his kids, holds his wife's purse in public, cooks dinner for his family (on anything other than an open flame), changes a diaper, or does anything else designated as "unmanly".

Sometimes it is used strictly in fun, sometimes with hurtful or shaming intent, and sometimes simply as a less emotionally engaged way of telling another guy to "man up" (*the humor removes the awkwardness of actually looking a man in the eye and telling them that they need to take care of their business). 

I wouldn't argue against the fact that our country is in desperate need for men to act like men - we have plenty of dead-beat dads, wife/child abusers, and 30 year old males living in their parents' basement working part time to support their video game habit - but in the absence of a genuine understanding of manhood our culture has settled for the Man Card and I know we can do better.

Much has been written about how our culture has "neutered" masculinity, how we have lost the milestones on the journey to manhood, how difficult it is for men in today's technology driven society to have opportunities to feel manly by working with our hands, and on and on the explanation of the problem goes.  We can make excuses - blaming everything from feminism & political correctness to the industrial revolution. We can buy into the Man Card mindset - buy a big gun and/or motorcylce, eat only red meat, sleep around, live in our icehouse/boat/treestand/garage/mancave/corner office, etc... Or we can do one of the things real men do - take responsibility and figure out what it really means to be a man.

The good news is that if you know Jesus you are a step ahead of the game, because according to the Bible you are already a "new man" in Christ.  You identity doesn't have to be wrapped up in what you have and what you've done, how tough you are or how big your gun is - you can rest on who Jesus says you are.

With that in mind, I thought it would be helpful to start a list of what Jesus would give a Man Card for - I'm calling it the "New Man" Card and it's what your wife wishes you understood about being a man.

How to earn your 'New Man' Card:

• Lay down your life - not just willing to die to save someone in an emergency but willing to die to your own desires for their benefit  (Ephesians 5-6)
• Be a servant - if you want to be great in God's Kingdom, you must be the servant of all
• Spend time with kids - the disciples tried to chase the kids away and Jesus said "let the little children to come to me..."
• Say you are sorry and make things right when you have failed - remember Zacheus?
• Respect women - Jesus was completely counter cultural in how he treated women with honor and respect
• Boldly speak truth... in a loving way
• Be compassionate and merciful - how did Jesus treat the woman caught in adultery?
• Have righteous anger not selfish anger - Jesus overturned money changing tables in temple for all the right reasons
• Instead of getting even, turn the other cheek - "Vengence is mine says the LORD"
• Be meek, be a peacemaker, be poor in spirit - remember the Beatitudes?
• Wash other mens' feet - on the night of Passover Feast...
• Demonstrate faith - the centurion with sick servant was commended by Jesus for his faith
• Cry - for unsaved people (Jesus wept over Jerusalem), at death of a friend (Lazarus)
• Give up your rights - He did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but made himself nothing... (Philippians 2)
• Forgive - see Matthew 18
• Seek God's Kingdom first; don't treasure riches - remember the rich young ruler?
• Be humble rather than prideful or boasting about what you have done
• Be who you are, don't try to look good on the outside - the Pharisees were blasted by Jesus for being "white-washed tombs" - "man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart"
• Take care of your family - if you don't you might as well not call your self a Christian, don't believe me? check 1 Timothy 5:8
• Don't give in to lustful thinking and actions - Matthew 5:27-30, Galatians 5:16, & 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 among many others

What would you add to the list?

Update: My friend sent me a pic of the "Man Card" he carries in his wallet - love it!

on Making War with Sin part 1 - How to Make War

I was reminded today of the need to MAKE WAR with sin instead of "settling in" - tedashii's song bearing this title was a refreshing perspective on this thought.

The question is this - how do I (we) make war with sin?

1. we battle sin by trusting God's promises (Battling Unbelief - John Piper)
2. we battle sin by preaching Truth to ourselves (Spiritual Depression: Its Causes and Its Cure- D. Martin Lloyd-Jones)
3. we battle sin by the power of the Holy Spirit
4. we battle sin by God's grace alone
5. as such, we battle sin with humility
6. we battle sin by constantly moving forward with Christ (no foxhole mentality, we are advancing!)

May God grant us grace to fight sin for His glory!

In the second installment of this subject I will address why we should make war with sin - a bit counterintuitive to address the "why" after the "how" but I realized upon finishing this post that my own heart needs to be directed to the "why" question so that making war does not end up being just about me looking good for those around me or trying to earn God's favor by doing the right thing...

on Requiring Unregenerate Children to Act Like They’re Good?

Why Require Unregenerate Children to Act Like They’re Good? :: Desiring God Christian Resource Library

Good thoughts for me as a father of a five year old who has accepted God's gracious forgiveness of sins and a three year old who I am praying for...

on Christmas

Recently I was speaking with a friend and mentor about the meaning of Christmas. I was sharing how I so often felt let down by the holiday season, how it just doesn't feel the way it did when I was a child, how I don't feel like I am able to get into the "Christmas spirit", how I feel guilty for not having my heart focused on Christ, etc...

He pointed out a distinction which I think is helpful between the sentimentality and the spirituality of a given holiday. It is not that there is anything innately wrong with being sentimental and having "warm feelings" about a special day or time of year, about the time spent with family and friends, about the memories of previous holidays and the people we were with then... but if this sentimentality pushes out the spirituality, we have replaced the God of Christmas (or Thanksgiving or Easter) with the god of family or friends or comfort or, ultimately, just the plain old fashioned god of me and my pleasure.

I don't appreciate the word balance in relation to my relationship with God because it seems to put Him on the same plane with everything else, but for lack of a better word; I am seeking a better balance this year... one in which I enjoy the season and the opportunities it gives for spending special time with family and friends and for creating traditions and memories, but also a season in which Christ is honored, in which the overwhelming awesomeness of God coming to earth in the flesh, as a baby, as a Savior, is impressed upon and celebrated in my heart.

Father, please help me to truly worship you and honor your Son this Christmas, help me to lead my family into traditions that are centered upon you and show how amazing the advent really is!, Be glorified in the meals that we eat, the gifts that we give and receive, and in the quiet moments of reflection. Thank you for the incarnation of your Son as our Savior, Redeemer and King! Please help me to be satisfied with all that He is and will be. For your glory and for Jesus sake, I pray... Amen.